Saturday, April 4, 2015

Gurudev, there are many divorces happening in India nowadays. Please give some tips to men and women to stop this.

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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
To the men I would say, do not attack the emotions of women. Women are emotionally inclined, respect their emotions. Don’t sit like in olden times and dictate or lord over them; respect women.
To the women I would say, don’t attack a man’s ego. It’s possible that he may be stupid, but with your own mouth you should not call him stupid! If you call him useless he will actually become useless. Keep pumping his ego. Tell him, 'There is no one as intelligent like you in this world'.
He may not have used his brains as much as others have, but even though he may not have used his brain, doesn’t mean he does not have intelligence.
Many times in school, parents visit the principal and say that their child is very brilliant but is unable to write in the exam, something happens in the exam. The mother always feels her child is the most brilliant. You should feel the same, that your husband is the greatest. Never attack his ego. He should never have to prove his manhood, or talent, or competency to you. Don’t ever create such a situation. Don’t make him feel guilty, don’t blame him for everything.
If you blame a person all the time, that person will try to run away from you. Instead, with a sense of belongingness give him comfort. He works tirelessly for your sake, but when he comes home and you point a finger and start blaming and complaining about what he has or has not done then where will he go? Give him some comfort and relief.
These are two tips, and for both of them the common tip would be – don’t doubt each other’s love. Don’t compel the other to prove their love to you. Don’t ask, 'Do you really love me?' Is he supposed to bring a flower for you every day? If he brings flowers, then too it is a problem because then you will say, 'What’s the matter, there is something definitely wrong today'.
Sometimes women call their husband's office and find out what time he left work. Don’t do this, don’t be suspicious about him. If someone doubts your sincerity and love, and you have to prove your love again and again to them, isn’t that a big burden for you? It is so difficult to express love! In this world, nobody has been able to do it fully. But we ask the other if they truly love us, and then to prove it to us. Don’t ask for proof, take it for granted that the other person loves you.
If you feel that your partner or spouse does not love you as much as before or their attention has reduced, you should ask them, ‘Why do you love me so much?’ Demand destroys love. Even if the love has dried up inside them, it will be rekindled. They will see your magnanimity, your understanding and will start loving you more. Demand destroys love.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Gurudev, why do I have to take on so many responsibilities. I have the responsibility of my happiness, my husband’s happiness, family’s happiness, etc. Why all this when ultimately I have to die?

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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well, that is because you are born! When you are born you have to take care of all this.
There are two ways of looking at life:
1. Either you take it as a burden and a drag and make your whole life a long drawn misery, or 2. You take it with enthusiasm, thinking, 'I have all these responsibilities and challenges, and I can do it'. And you move on with celebration.
When you are tired that is when you feel that all this is too much for you to handle. When this happens, I would say, sit back and relax. Think that you have no responsibility whatsoever. Find the deepest of the rest within you, and then you will get the strength you need to move on.
Just say one thing to yourself, 'I want nothing!' This wanting nothing gives you the deepest of the rests.
Rest is not just physically lying in bed, it is the mode of the mind which says, 'I am satisfied, I am content'. Its only contentment which can give you rest and this contentment is not going to come to you by doing something or by engaging in any activity. It will come to you only through knowledge. And the knowledge is:
1. Everything is impermanent
2. I am satisfied
3. I want nothing
This is the essence of the knowledge.
Often when you ask children what do they want, they will say, 'Nothing'.
The seed of wanting nothing is there in every child. They only don’t know that everything is impermanent because they have not fully caught on to anything around them.
Even for a few moments every day, if you say, 'Everything is impermanent, I want nothing', and you sit and take that deep rest, then you come up with the energy and enthusiasm with which you can take up a million jobs in the world, and you can make a million people happy. Then no work appears to be significant or insignificant.
This is the language of the Upanishad: it is neither significant nor insignificant.
You can’t call even small things as insignificant, nor do you have to give so much importance to something very significant. Instead, you can keep doing any work, any action, anywhere, and each and every one of them will be beneficial to the world.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Gurudev, I am Christian and I don’t believe in reincarnation but is it possible that we were Indians in another life?

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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Now you are negating your own statement! You say you don’t believe in reincarnation and then ask if you had a birth in this country!
Possible! I know for sure I have been here many times. And even you have been, but whether you were an Indian or not, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.
The interpretation, religion and belief system all varies with time.
Once upon a time, the church did not believe the earth is round. They believed the earth is flat. So many scientists were persecuted because they were saying things which were against the religion, but then the church started adopting it.
They said they don’t believe in the Darwin theory, but now the Pope is saying it is acceptable. When science says something, you agree.
Similarly, the psychologist, psychiatrist, parapsychologist, scientist say there have been many lives, many mansions (bodies) that you have been in. When the scientists say you have been here, that your consciousness is imperishable, then you will have to agree.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Gurudev, I have done courses and do my sadhana (spiritual practices) almost every day but I still don’t feel love for myself. What should I do?

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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Who said you don’t feel love for yourself. Don’t be hard, don’t pity yourself. You ARE love, my dear! You are made up of this stuff called love. Like our body is made up of amino acid, carbohydrate, protein, your spirit is made up of love, light and joy. This is in your nature. So just wake up.

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