Saturday, April 4, 2015

Gurudev, there are many divorces happening in India nowadays. Please give some tips to men and women to stop this.

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Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
To the men I would say, do not attack the emotions of women. Women are emotionally inclined, respect their emotions. Don’t sit like in olden times and dictate or lord over them; respect women.
To the women I would say, don’t attack a man’s ego. It’s possible that he may be stupid, but with your own mouth you should not call him stupid! If you call him useless he will actually become useless. Keep pumping his ego. Tell him, 'There is no one as intelligent like you in this world'.
He may not have used his brains as much as others have, but even though he may not have used his brain, doesn’t mean he does not have intelligence.
Many times in school, parents visit the principal and say that their child is very brilliant but is unable to write in the exam, something happens in the exam. The mother always feels her child is the most brilliant. You should feel the same, that your husband is the greatest. Never attack his ego. He should never have to prove his manhood, or talent, or competency to you. Don’t ever create such a situation. Don’t make him feel guilty, don’t blame him for everything.
If you blame a person all the time, that person will try to run away from you. Instead, with a sense of belongingness give him comfort. He works tirelessly for your sake, but when he comes home and you point a finger and start blaming and complaining about what he has or has not done then where will he go? Give him some comfort and relief.
These are two tips, and for both of them the common tip would be – don’t doubt each other’s love. Don’t compel the other to prove their love to you. Don’t ask, 'Do you really love me?' Is he supposed to bring a flower for you every day? If he brings flowers, then too it is a problem because then you will say, 'What’s the matter, there is something definitely wrong today'.
Sometimes women call their husband's office and find out what time he left work. Don’t do this, don’t be suspicious about him. If someone doubts your sincerity and love, and you have to prove your love again and again to them, isn’t that a big burden for you? It is so difficult to express love! In this world, nobody has been able to do it fully. But we ask the other if they truly love us, and then to prove it to us. Don’t ask for proof, take it for granted that the other person loves you.
If you feel that your partner or spouse does not love you as much as before or their attention has reduced, you should ask them, ‘Why do you love me so much?’ Demand destroys love. Even if the love has dried up inside them, it will be rekindled. They will see your magnanimity, your understanding and will start loving you more. Demand destroys love.

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